Hi. My name is Jesse Andrews. I am the author of Me and Earl and the Dying Girl. I am also a dog who can type. Specifically, a corgi. I am a corgi who can type intelligible prose. It's sort of incredible that this isn't a bigger story, but whatever. I can do without the publicity. Anyway, I encourage you to read my book. If I was going to be obnoxious and in-your-face about the I-am-a-dog thing, this is where I would make some kind of labored dog-related pun, like, "It's a RUFF read!" But that's some played-out human garbage, and I am not going to go there. Also, that pun doesn't even make sense.

First, let it be known that it took an inhuman effort not to make the title of this post a pun on the word “Finnish,” e.g.,
- I guess they really put the Finnishing touch on this one!
- Man I really hope this doesn’t mean my career is Finnished!!
- I feel a sudden inexplicable urge to go listen to the guitar stylings of Christian Finnish!!!
All of this is to say: my book was released today, in Finland, translated into Finnish. The title is Maailmankaikkeuden huonoin elokuva, which translates roughly to Worst Film of the Universe.
The publisher is WSOY, the editor is Lippo Luukkonen, and the umlaut quotient of this edition is roughly 30,000. If you know someone in Finland, I urge you to urge them to buy this book. If you don’t, I urge you to move to Finland. Their education system is kind of a lot better than ours.
Tags:
finland
mailman cake
maailmankaikkeuden huonoin elokuva
umlauts
fennesz
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Attention humans: My book is now available in Dutch. Actually, it’s been available in Dutch since April, but I have just now found about this, probably because the portion of my Internet time during which I’m supposed to advance the online cause of ME & EARL, I have pretty much entirely spent hitting “refresh” on the page of the guy in the Northern Mariana Islands whose pancakes look like things.
Anyway—the book is published by Pimento, titled “Ik + Earl + de stervende Rachel,” edited by Hannerlie Monderman, translated by Ellis Post. Chicklit.nl calls it “bijzondere”; Youngadultbooks.nl calls it “onweerstaanbaar.” Amersfoort.CultuurBewust.nl goes so far as to call me a “schrijfster.”
Bottom line: If you are one of the world’s approximately four Dutch-speaking people who does not also speak fluent English, you should definitely buy this book.
Tags:
dutch
the netherlands
saipancakes
the guy whose pancakes look like things
schrijfster
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Mouth, receive an honored guest;
Chocolate cake is laid to rest.
Let the crumb-strewn vessel lie
Emptied of its piece of pie.
In the deserts of my tum
Let the chocolate fountain hum,
In the prison of his years
Give this guy “3 Musketeers.”
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Thus begins and concludes my experiment to determine what W.H. Auden would write if he were a contemporary food writer specializing in desserts.
Okay I should probably do some work now.
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update: many people do not understand why this is funny, or for that matter what it is. it is a rewriting of the first and last stanzas of an evidently-not-as-famous-as-i-thought poem by W.H. Auden, entitled “In Memory of W.B. Yeats,” a poem that beautifully captures the despair of Europe on the eve of WWII and begs the reader to allow poets like the just-departed Yeats to restore the reader’s optimism and capacity for love. i thought it would be funny if instead this poem was about desserts. here is the original poem. read part iii. now read my poem again. ha ha? right? if nothing else, at least now you have read a canonical and touching poem by W.H. Auden. okay now i should seriously do some real work.
Tags:
in memory of w.b. yeats
w.h. awesome
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